Find Your Greatness. You Can’t Be Stopped. There Is No Finish Line. So says Nike, though it’s no stretch to picture these vacuous affirmations on a poster endorsing the Conservative or Labour parties, such is the extent to which the empty and insipid language of advertising has permeated politics. Be Legendary. Vote Conservative.

When consumer capitalism is the nation’s faith, everything is entertainment. The endless marketing to our inner child keeps us engaged and subdued.

When the list of ingredients on food packaging is preceded with an ‘Okay guys, here’s the boring bit’ disclaimer, we’re reassured that here’s a brand that rejects the dull responsibilities of an anachronistic grown-up existence and just wants to get it’s groove on, man. The infantilisation is all-pervading.

On TV, celebrity adults eat creepy crawlies and get doused in slime like it’s fucking Tiswas, while talking meerkats sell us insurance. Natwest emailed me recently telling me that my ‘shiny new’ bank card was on the way. Banking isn’t supposed to be fun and groovy. Society today is like Bugsy Malone but where all the kids are played by adults.